Will I actually get to meet Mr Romantic.
We have been chatting on teams now for almost a fortnight. We’ve had an online video chat and a couple of brief phone calls but there is always feedback which I find frustrating.
It’s Wednesday night and we have a phone chat, and I make a comment about our date on Saturday, he makes a non-committal comment about having some meetings to rearrange. This sounds off, I mean why would you agree to a date with someone who lives over 2 hours’ drive away if you are also having meetings that day.
So, in one of my messages the next day, I ask that if he needs to reschedule can he let me know asap, so I have the opportunity to make other arrangements. He confirms he will, and it won’t be a problem.
Thursday night he is in a slightly strange mood says he is waiting to hear back about a project he has quoted for.
When I wake up Friday, he has sent me a copy of a document saying he has won the project to go to Istanbul to obtain equipment for his company in the USA. I discover he is leaving that day. He wants to call before he gets on the plane.
I’m at work when he tries to call but I am pi$$ed so I don’t answer on any of his 6 attempts.
I am angry but as it turns out for all the wrong reasons.
He evens sends me a video when he lands in Istanbul of the airport.
I’m annoyed because I’m thinking he must have known this could happen and he didn’t bother to give me the heads up.
He makes an effort and against my better judgement which was to tell him, ‘Contact me when you are back in the country and ready to meet up’ I continue chatting with him. He even ‘supposedly’ video chats me again a couple of times from Turkey.
He asks about my life and is kind and supportive but still a little heavy at times.
Anyway, we are into week 3 when light finally dawns. I’ve given enough hints.
He needs my help. He is having trouble accessing his bank online in Istanbul, can I be there for him today to have his back, it would really mean a lot to him. He needs my help with a transfer. Some rubbish about internet issues.
RED ALERT!!!!!! WARNING! WARNING!! I REPEAT. RED ALERT!!!!!!
Can't access his bank in one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world. Who buys this rubbish!!
If he is working on a big project, why isn’t his company helping?? Honestly what a load of ...
I kindly tell him no and I don’t think he should be talking about banking with anyone he hasn’t met before.
He is hurt that I am not there for him.
I warn him to be more cautious, and he is sad that he must keep explaining his feelings for me and why I can’t accept them as real.
MAYBE BECAUSE WE HAVE NEVER MET!!!!!!
Just a thought.
Anyway, that evening it comes to a head, and I finally stop fighting the sick feeling in my stomach have a lightbulb moment.
First, I fed some of my chats into ChatGPT and asked for a response, or I put some of his long heart felt responses in and asked if they wrote it. Not all of it as it turns out but some of it definitely.
Then I did a google search on some of his pics.
Why had you not done this before? I hear you ask. Well, I was stupid about it because he had taken the time to video chat me. Yes, he had been clever about it, sat back from the screen, worn a hat and he had obviously chosen someone’s photos who were similar enough to him that he could pass as the same guy.
However, the truth was out we have ourselves another catfish people.
It turns out he isn’t remotely romantic; he is just one big fat con artist. Very dedicated to his craft as he had spent hours chatting to me over the last 2 ½ weeks.
He wasn’t who he was pretending to be and was clearly trying to steal my money.
Now when I lay there in bed thinking over the whole thing there are so many clues I let slide. Mainly because I thought we would actually meet and then I could decide.
E.g. He didn’t know the breed of his own dogs. Seriously?
Why was everything through teams and not just a phone call?
Why was he still using an American mobile number in Cardiff?
Why did I hear a strange thing in the background on one of his phone calls that he ended quickly?
The list went on and with hindsight it had all become crystal clear, but I had ignored the few gut instincts again because I had got used to having him to chat to and enjoyed the company.
Like Pavlov’s dog, I had become conditioned to the sound when a message arrived.
I had got used to seeing what message he greeted me with each morning.
I had to untrain my brain again and suddenly life seemed a little empty. Which it hadn't before I started chatting to him.
How very clever these people are, they had managed to have this effect on someone who wasn’t even looking for love or naïve enough to be conned out of money.
Imagine what they could do to someone who just wanted that happy ever after? Someone who was lonely and wanted some company and were willing to take the leap that someone they had never met might actually fall in love with them because they were a wonderful person and they just needed someone else to see it.
This catfish hurt worse.
This had not been a brief interlude, and this one was trying to steal from me.
Thank God for friends and their shoulders to cry on, even if only over a phone. 😘