I know what you are thinking, what has mosquito bites got to do with dating?
Have you ever had a mosquito bite?
They are horrible, I know, but no matter what you seem to do after you have one, you keep getting more and more. I always thought it was as if the first mosquito left a homing signal in your blood to let other mosquitos know there is tasty blood available.
Now do you see where I am going with this analogy.
I was off on holiday to the mediterranean, and the timing seemed good, dating had got a little complex at home and a break would help clear my head.
Yeah, not so much.
I did not think it through. It turns out this happn app is a worldwide thing and from the minute I arrive the likes and messages start flooding in. It went bonkers.
I even had a guy from Norway on holiday in Rhodes (which was not the same country as me) send me a like.
So now as I walk around in town it is like I have a mosquito bite telling all the other little mosquitos that I am tasty and available to be eaten.
I have never been chatted up so much in my entire life. Not even when I was young and single. I am even sitting in a restaurant with my 2 children and parents and getting asked out for a drink. Insane!!!
So, despite my best intentions of getting some space from men and dating, the idea of going out for a drink with someone is tempting. The guys at home are very sporadic with their messages. Admittedly they may be giving me space as I am on holiday. Their mistake.
So, I scan the hundreds (not exaggerating) of likes and see one I think is quite cute. I have my doubts as the pics are always misleading. Anyway, we arrange to meet for a drink.
Needless to say, he was a little older and heavier than the images suggested and a little too hands-on. I am not sure why all men assume that when you agree to meet for a drink it means something else entirely.
I also find it hilarious when they use lines on you, you know they have used on thousands of women before you. Come on, I am in my 40's not my teens or twenties, I do not buy any of that nonsense. I am no more special than the next woman whose knickers they are going to try and get into.
He seemed pleasant enough but I wasn't interested in what he had to sell. So, I decide to give holiday dating a miss and I muted the app notifications.
Then there is a chap in a restaurant who seems quite nice, he has spoken to me a couple of times and sent me a like on the app, but I have not returned it. I am trying really hard to be good.
That was until this afternoon, when bored for 5 minutes I looked at the new likes on the app. There is an extremely handsome 31-year-old. Who lives over 2 hours' drive away. So, I figure it would be safe to send him a like and just say hello without worrying about what may follow.
WRONG!!!!
He is going to drive to meet me tomorrow. He is also talking about renting a villa in the town I am staying for a few days to spend time with me. OMG!!! 0-60 in less than one day.
He has also offered to give me a massage with multiple happy endings. Oh, how they love to brag!!!
Like I haven't heard that before. 😂
Made my boundaries clear from the get-go.
Don't want any pressure and if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to drive to see me.
Now I am just worrying about what he will think of the makeup less sweaty holiday me versus the profile dressed up to go out me. I guess we will find out.
So now I have arranged this crazy meet up for tomorrow lunch time it is time to go out with my family for dinner. We find a nice restaurant and the waiter seems lovely, very pretty eyes (my weakness) and speaks pretty good English. He chats with me lots and then before I leave asks if he can take me out for a drink sometime.
You see there is that mosquito bite doing its thing again. I don't know if he is on the app or if it's just male interest, when one of them is interested it sends a signal to all the other men that this one is tasty.
So, the app guy. You can probably guess. Another catfish. At this point I should just start assuming the pictures are works of fiction and anything resembling the real person is entirely coincidental.
Lunch with the waiter was actually rather lovely, right up until the point he realised I was being messaged by other guys. Suddenly the charm cooled somewhat. Although, to be fair to him, he did have competition — sitting there having lunch I was being openly flirted with by another waiter, and this one was drop dead gorgeous. Funny how quickly a man's interest in you shifts when he thinks he might have to share the signal. Noted. Shame the gorgeous one barely spoke any English. Some things are just sent to test us.
By the end of the holiday I decided what I needed was a night out, just me, a bar, and absolutely no agenda. I found both. There was pool. There was a very cute young waiter. And the mosquito bite did what mosquito bites do.
Let's just say the holiday did not end on a low note. The mosquitos had most definitely not finished their job yet.